Where We Started

When I had become reborn in Christ

Ever feel like you need to take a step back and recall where you started on your journey with Christ? Have you ever taken a moment to look and see how far God has taken you, and yet, feel as if you somehow left Him behind? It’s almost like leaving Him somewhere near the starting point, sprinting for the finish line, but then you realize you left your shoes behind.  What’s worse, is that you see the rocks and glass spread out across the pavement before you, and you can’t really seem to figure out how to get to the finish line without causing some major damage to your feet. You could try to get around it, but that would take longer than intended, and you could tip toe in between, but shards of glass are hard to see, so there’s no guarantee of safety, and frankly, you feel somewhat naked and unprotected without shoes. That’s what it feels like when we are pointed in a direction, shoot off, but then our spiritual life somewhat fades away. It isn’t that we do it on purpose, but with our daily lives getting so busy, goals to accomplish, and life finally having meaning, it could happen.

I know, I’ve been there. That’s why I’m writing this post now.

And don’t worry, “there is now no condemnation for those in Christ Jesus.” -Romans 8:1 CSB

God knows that we’ll make mistakes and slip off from time to time. Especially if we’re newly born again and just getting the hang of things. As a born-again Christian, some of our old ways are still very well intact, which could cause us to turn back to old habits. Being reborn doesn’t mean God snaps his fingers and we’re instantly changed. Oh no, it actually means He’ll work those issues out of us nice and steady so that we’re stronger and wiser about it in the future. So, it’s a good thing to have patience. Always remember that instant gratification comes from Satan, and it won’t last long. Its like getting liposuction without practicing any of the proper eating habits, so you gain all the weight back anyway. But anything given from God lasts forever because He’ll do a good work in us.  

So, did you somehow manage to leave behind your shoes during the race? Did life start to get louder than you thought it would? What about old habits? What about an old version of you? I’m here to say that it’s okay! It happens! Just let God back into your life! He’ll literally and patiently waiting on you.  

Recently, I’ve experienced what it meant to fall off. When I started letting God guide me, I got straight to work! It’s what I do, it’s what I love, and it’s how I live. I love having purpose and direction, so I put my sweat and blood into it. The problem was that I wasn’t taking the time to praise God like I had when I first met Him. I knew He was there, and I’d speak from time to time, but I had stopped spending time with Him. I even stopped going to church because it was getting so exhausting when added to my week of work. The thought of going to a room full of singing and praise gave me a headache. It got to the point that I had decided that if I was only going to go to check of weekly churching, then there was no point in going at all. “I’ll just do church at home,” I’d say with a shrug before opening the bible, reading one chapter, and then taking a nap.

It wasn’t all that long after that, that I started falling into old habits and good habits started falling off. My discipline is my strongest attribute, but God is who keeps it all together. When I fell into using my own strength, I started noticing how discipline had become stressful as well. I wanted fast food, I wanted candy, I wanted a drink, I wanted to smoke, I wanted to watch tv, I wanted to do anything that I wasn’t supposed to do. And it wasn’t that I didn’t allow breaks before. I mean, I was just getting to the point where all I wanted to do was sit around. Everything else was stressful. Going to the gym…stressful. Pushups…stressful. Betterment…stressful. Everything began to feel like a chore instead of purpose.

Deep down, I knew I could whip myself back together, but I didn’t feel like it. I also didn’t realize what I was missing either. He was the very source of my energy.

God.

After spending some time doing all the things that made me feel worse, I finally realized what it meant to do things in my own strength and not God’s. I could never understand it because I wasn’t going to wait on some mythical feeling or possession to power me up and get me going. The words, “use God’s strength,” made absolutely no sense to me. I understood getting up, praying to God, and working hard. It was my body that was moving, my sweat on my face, and my thoughts that were getting the creative work done, so it all felt very much like my own strength, and like I said, I wasn’t waiting on possession. Demons possess. The Holy Spirit influences. There’s a difference.

“But remember that the Lord God gives you the power to gain wealth, in order to confirm his covenant he swore to your ancestors as it is today.” – Deuteronomy 8:18 CSB

Now, I understand what it means, so I’m going to tell you what I got from this lesson, but please feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. And no, leaning on God doesn’t mean that we won’t get tired. Our bodies are still human, so exhaustion is inevitable, but with God, we won’t get the kind of tired where we don’t want to keep going the next day. We’d only be tired until recovery.

Depending on Gods strength means having faith in Him, but not only that, it means keeping Him at your center. When you step away from praise and worship, talking and relationship, you are essentially stepping away from your reason and your energy source. Centering Him and focusing on the kingdom gives you purpose, therefore He keeps you on fire and dependent on Him. Getting close to the Holy Spirit is what helps produce the fruits of the spirit, one being self-discipline, which helps build good and healthy habits that will keep you going as you charge down your path.

Needless to say, you MUST keep God close! Doing His will must be your reason, otherwise, you’ll either keep going from selfish ambition—which only ends in emptiness—or you’ll begin to relapse into old habits that made you feel empty in the first place. Keeping God at your center brings fulfillment! It brings love, joy, peace, kindness, patience, faithfulness, gentleness, goodness, and self-control!   Oh wow, the fruits of the spirit! How about that!?

“If we live by the spirit, let us also keep in step with the spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.” – Galatians 5: 25-26 CSB

When I started reconnecting with God, I found that He had always been there. I took  a moment to think, where did I start? What was I doing then? That was when it dawned on me that I wasn’t doing any of the things that I used to do. I wasn’t going into my prayer closet to talk, read, study, and pray, and I wasn’t going to church. So, not only was I not in relationship, I wasn’t even going to get a good word.

That was when I hit the reset button and made time to do everything I had been doing from the start. It’s a bit different now that I know what it means to rely on His strength, so I kind of feel as if I’m riding in cruise control, but its not so bad. God has had me make many changes that have a lot to do with sleep time, working out, eating habits, what I watch, what I listen to, how I pray, how I interact with people, what I give, what I don’t give, my intentions, and how I think. The second go-round is starting to feel better than the first. Now that I’m relying on Him, it’s giving Him the chance to really work on me.

Now, I’m getting that energy back, and honestly, it’s like heaven on earth. I love having discipline, and I love feeling straight rather than crooked. There’s nothing better than walking in a straight line and continuing on the path He’s had set for me. Now, I just have to keep going, keep following, and keep living. Oh, and this time, I have to remember to keep my shoes on to stay safe and protected from the rough pavement on my way to the finish line.

My message to you guys is that if you’ve fallen off, God is waiting or you to get back on! You’ll discover that He hasn’t condemned you for backsliding or making mistakes, because you’re with Him! Ask for forgiveness and repent for your sins! With God you are protected by His grace, so just turn to Him and get back to where you started!

“And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” -Colossians 3:17 CSB